Broken
by typetwittertype
Summary: Jace dies when Sebastian basically tortures him. So naturally Clary is totally depressed. But what if she can do other things beyond what she thought? Like... bringing people back from the dead. Song-fic
1. Chapter 1

Broken

A Mortal Instruments song-fic

_I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_

Clary's blue iPod switched to this song, Broken, by Seether and Amy Lee. She was laying on Jace's bed like she had for the past week- the week that he had been dead. She inhaled as much as she could- trying to soak up the soap\sweat\blood smell of Jace. She pictured him like the last time she saw him- fierce and frightened, but determined.

_I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well. I wanna hold you high and steal you pain_

Clary had not once taken a step out of Jace's room since she learned that Jace died. Not even to eat, not even to go to the funeral.

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

There was an anxious knock on the door. "Clary?" It was Luke. She didn't answer. His voice was a mixture of worry and irritation. "You are going to have to come out sometime. Don't make me call the fire department." He chuckled, a weary, short laugh at his joke. They both knew that the fire department would never do anything right. Clary had put her strongest locking rune she had ever used. It only let people in, not out.

_The worst is over now and we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain._

In everyone's words, the worst was over. Valentine had been defeated, Sebastian was dead, and both Shadowhunters and Downworlders had agreed to start over and make new accords. But for Clary, every part of the shadowhunter world, every one she loved and cared about, reminded her of Jace.

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away_

For a fleeting moment, Clary thought about opening her sketchbook, something she hadn't done for a while. She thought about drawing Jace again, one last time. To draw Jace with black wings, like a dangerous angel. Like the angel he was now.

With great effort, Clary stood up off the bed. Her muscles were sore from not being used, and she didn't know if she was going to make it to the door, let alone her room. For the first time in a week, Clary took a step. Then another, and, after a while, she got used to walking.

She sighed as she finally got to the door, and opened it. Immediately, the rune wore off. In the mirror across the hall, she realized that she looked hideous. Her hair looked black from not showering, and her curls hung down to where they were almost straight. Her skin was pale and washed out, and she had a huge zit in the middle of her forehead. Her body looked deprived and shrunken up. I look like crap.

'_Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough. 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome. And I don't feel right when you're gone away._

"Clary?" Simon came rushing up. He had black circles under his eyes. "You're… alive." He said, as if he was amazed. "You didn't think I would live?" I rolled my eyes, but the effort that it took to talk to him was an even greater feat than she would have thought.

Just looking at him, as a vampire, reminded her of the night he turned. Jace was there, he watched over her and Simon, though he didn't like Simon. The memories all came back, crystal clear. The day she told Simon about shadowhunters… the night they went to the party and Simon turned into a rat… the battle on Valentine's ship, when Jace gave his blood to save Simon…. Suddenly it was all she could do to keep from crying out at the memories that had resurfaced, to tell them to stop from racing around in her brain.

_You've gone away. You don't feel me, here. Anymore._

The last few seconds of the song played in her room, and they echoed in her brain. _"You've gone away…"_ She chocked back tears, sobbing, gut-wrenching tears of regret and sorrow. She didn't have the chance to tell Jace that they could be together, because they weren't brother and sister. He had gone before she could tell him. She ran out of the hallway, just barely making it before Simon got to her. She quickly got out her stele and drew the rune again before he could knock the door down.

It was odd, thinking that this was her room. It was, but it didn't have Jace stamped all over it. But then again, maybe it did, simply because Jace was stamped all over her. She ran onto the bed and collapsed into tears and defeat. How could she go on? Jace, her reason for existing, was gone. They could not have one without having the other.

She went over to her bed and pulled her sketchbook out from under the pillow, where she had kept it since she went to Idris. Flipping through it, Clary ripped out every last drawing. Until she stopped at the picture of Jace with wings. Again, she thought of drawing him with black wings and a smirk on his face. The sarcastic Jace that she knew and loved with every cell in her body. The Jace that she knew would have kissed away her fears, her every thought of worry, of stress. After that picture, there was the picture of the coffee mug, the one that she had explained her power to Jace to get the Mortal Cup.

Then she realized that with some runes, she could maybe possibly- no, there was no way in Hell it could happen. But she just might be able- having the kind of gifts that she does- to bring Jace back through her pictures.

**Okay, this obviously is not gonna be a one-shot like I thought originally. I wanna do each chapter with a song, but for the next chapter I don't know what song to use. I was thinking I belong to you by Muse, but some of the lyrics don't fit. So tell me what you think!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Bring me to life

**(A\N- Thanks, guys for all the reviews you totally made my day. Also, thanks to Serenity Shadowstar for the amazing song suggestion- I love EV but sadly never thought of using this song. Thank you!!!!) **

Looking down at the picture she had drawn of Jace, she realized that she needed him. Clary desperately needed Jace to live, to breathe. It was like he had taken over her every thought completely when he both lived and died.

_How can you see into my eyes, like open doors? Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold. Until you find it there and lead it back home. _

She had drawn him better than she thought she would have. The picture of Jace looked so real it made her want to cry out- he was standing in the middle of a battlefield, wearing only black pants and his beautifully sarcastic smile. His black wings expanded out from him as if he truly were an angelic god. Too bad he wasn't real. But he would soon be if she had anything to say about it.

_(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside. (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up) Bit my blood to run (I can't wake up) before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become._

Clary was nothing without Jace. He was her other half, her- her soulmate. No one else would be as perfect as him for her, not ever. No matter where she was, no matter who she was with she would never forget Jace or that she loved him. God, she loved him with every single cell in her body, and she knew that no one else had ever loved anyone as much as she loved Jace.

_Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life._

Since Jace had died, Clary felt… dead. Dead without Jace, without a purpose in life. For a week, Clary had not really done anything but mourn. Now that there was a possibility her purpose could come back, she was filled with… not exactly hope, but more of the ability to hope that everything would be okay.

_(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) Bit my blood to run (I can't wake up) before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become. Bring me to life (I've been living a lie. There's nothing inside) Bring me to life_

Suddenly, Clary felt nervous. What if she couldn't do it? What would she do then? Killing herself would have been an option, if not for all the people she'd hurt. Luke, Mom, Simon, Alec, Isabelle… They would all be hurt. Especially after they lost Jace so recently.

_Frozen inside without your touch, without your love darling. Only you are the life among the dead. All this time I can't believe I couldn't see kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me. I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems. Got to open my eyes to everything. Without thought, without voice, without a soul (Don't let me die here. There must be something wrong) Bring me to life._

Clary looked at her sketchbook one more time. Thoughtfully, she drew the runes that would- hopefully- make him come back to her.

_(Wake me up) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) Bit my blood to run (I can't wake up) before I come undone (Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become Bring me to life (I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside) Bring me to life_

She stroked the picture like she had with the mortal cup, shut her eyes, held her breath, and waited for something to happen.

**Yes, that is where I'm leaving off. Aren't I evil?? Muah-hah-hah!! Anyway, I would like some suggestions for the next chapter (just songs please). Although I still don't know if I'm gonna have Jace come back or not…**


	3. Chapter 3

Broken chapter three- the Beacon

**(A\N- please don't hate me!!! I'm sorry its taken forever I have not been able to use a computer and what with the holidays and finals and… you get the point. Soo.. read and review and don't hate me after you finish this!! I have a plot, okay?? So bear with me peas and carrots.)**

Looking up after a moment of hope and desire to see her soul mate, Clary took a good look at the room. She did not know what to expect- after all, she did not know if her gift worked with people. But she did not see Jace. Thinking that it might just take awhile for it to take place, she sat there looking around the room like a toddler hopping to see his mother. Only instead of the mother coming out of the closet saying "Peek-a-boo!!" she never saw Jace. She waited for five minutes, and never once saw anything like glimmering golden eyes, sarcastically beautiful smiles, or radiant sandy blonde hair. Nothing- at all. Just a whole bunch of nothing waiting for her. She started to sob.

_You say your time has come, you're tired of waking up._ _Don't be obscene, I can't conceive of  
living without you. You say you drag us down, no one will want you now. When I start to cry you kiss my eyes and say I'm not allowed to._

Of course she couldn't do it, how ridiculous of her to expect that she could actually bring Jace back from the dead. Maybe he was looking down on her from Heaven, as she always knew he would. The only difference was that she wasn't with him. Not like she thought that she would- now he was the observer of her pathetic life without him. Damn him for not being here, for not being with her.

_Burning beacon in the night can't feel its heat or see its light. A single solitary guide. It must get lonely there sometimes._

She thought about what Jace was doing. Maybe he was fighting demons that could never hurt him, or lying down and watching America's Next Top Model. Whatever he was doing it had to be so much better than what she was doing. She missed his teasing, his warmth, his touch, and his kisses. Clary missed him.

_You were a child forgot lessons of love untaught. Now no embrace can quite replace the one that never found you. I was raised tenderly all that was taught to me. I will apply your parents tried but didn't know how to._

_1/5/10- _**(A\N- okay, I'm just leaving off here until tomorrow because I'm so tired I'm about to pass out. And I can't think very clearly. So I'll post it now and continue it tomorrow. So… don't hate me please!! And review! It is not hard to press that little green button and type like fifteen words. Then you make my day and I am more motivated to write more. See how this works? Hahaha)**

**1/6/10- Continued… now.**

She thought about her gifts for a moment. What if she could do other things that could somehow bring Jace back to life? Not the gift for pictures, obviously, but maybe something else. Maybe she had other gifts that she had not discovered yet. Maybe they developed over time or she just hadn't done the right thing yet to make them appear. She thought hard. What would be something that she could say or do to make gifts appear? What if it was more of an idea, not really something she could do?

_Burning beacon in the night can't feel its heat or see its light. The single solitary guide it must get lonely there sometimes._

Maybe if she asked someone for help they would have ideas. Isabelle had been really upset, too, (and Alec, of course) after Jace died, and maybe she would be some help and at least be willing to give suggestions.

_Let me stand by you. The honor is mine. Let me stand by you. Loneliest light, loneliest light, loneliest light._

She stood up and walked through the door, making the rune wear off for the second time that day. Making her way to the living room where she was to start her search for Isabelle, she walked through the halls as if in a daze. Was it really that long ago that Jace had walked the same halls? It all felt like a strange dream, Jace dying without her, that she could never wake up from.

Finally, Clary made it to the living room. Luckily for her, Isabelle was in there talking to Alec and she did not have to walk anymore. It was too exhausting to walk through the halls of memories. Isabelle looked at her in shock, interrupting what ever conversation she was having with Alec. Alec, wondering what Isabelle was looking at, turned around in his chair. They both looked at Clary as if she were a monkey in a zoo. "What?" She asked self- consciously. She knew she looked horrid, but did they have to make it worse for her? "Er… nothing." Replied Isabelle quickly, yet still looking shocked. "Isabelle, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone for a moment." I said after a moment of silence. "Yeah, sure Clary. Alec, would you please leave us for a minute?" Isabelle addressed Alec, but she was still looking at Clary in a mix of wonder, confusion, and worry. "Sure." Alec left looking uncomfortable and worried.

"Are you okay? God, Clary, I have been so worried about you!" Isabelle rushed up to me as soon as Alec left the room. "Yes, I'm okay." I was barely finished when she started another stream of sentences. "Really? Are you sure? Positive? 'Cause- not to be rude or anything- you look like hell." I laughed bleakly. "Yes I'm sure. Now that I have options-" "Options?" Isabelle sounded panicky. "Like what kind of options? Killing yourself is not an option, Clary that is so stupid! I mean, Jace loved you! Why give up just because he is gone? Because, Clary, I honestly can't bear Jace being dead, let alone the two of you!" I let Isabelle finish her rant while I thought of options. Then one hit me clear as day. "Not that kind of option, Isabelle. I was thinking… the Seelie Queen offered me a favor and I turned it down at the celebration party. Maybe she could still give me my favor." When I said that, it felt right. Like, for once, I actually knew what I was doing. "What… kind… of favor?" She replied slowly.

"I want to ask the Seelie Queen if she could bring Jace back."

_Burning beacon in the night can't feel its heat or see its light. A single solitary guide. It must get lonely there sometimes. _

**(A\N- YAY!! I finished it finally!! So review and motivate, peas and carrots haha. 'Cause you know I love it when you people review and totally give me faith to live (joking hahaha). Anyway, will try to update soon, but I have a band concert tomorrow after school, so wish me luck cause I will most likely fall on my face!! Joking. Thanks for the reviews and song suggestions loved them all. Rock on dudes!!)**


	4. Chapter 4

Broken chapter 4- Anthem of the Angels

**(Okay, again thank you to Serenity Shadowstar for the amazing song suggestion (and everyone else that contributed, of course) because I honestly thought that I would not like the band- I don't know why- but once I listened to this song, by Breaking Benjamin by the way, I totally loved it. So thanks so much 'cause now I've found other inspirations for this story-ish-thing other than Evanescence and a Fine Frenzy. Also, I just totally love the band. THANKS!! And a big shout out to all that reviewed you gave me motivation =P Okay this isn't really… well, Clary is going to the Seelie Queen but on the way she kind of looks back and reflects on her life without Jace and what it would be like if they could be together again. Oh, and I was lying. I don't have a plot. I just get an idea, write, and it goes wherever it wants to go. So… yea.) **

After a long argument with Isabelle about weather or not she should go to the Seelie Queen, she finally relented- with several exceptions. First, she had to shower while Isabelle contacted Meliorn to tell him that they were coming (she insisted on coming with Clary). Then she had to get dressed and eat. They were finally ready about a half-an hour later, and took a cab to Central Park where they would continue for the rest of the mile or so to the courts.

While they were in the cab, Clary decided to look back on her time without Jace and what it would be with him back.

_White walls surround us. No light will touch your face again. Rain taps the window as we sleep among the dead._

Since he had been gone, Clary had had dreams about Jace. There was always an invisible wall separating them, and whenever Clary tried to ask him where he had gone or simply tried to talk to him, Jace would disappear. After she had woken up- covered in sweat and tears, the blankets strewn across the floor- she would try to remind herself to cherish looking at Jace and not to talk whenever she had that dream the next night. But she never could seem to remember.

_Days go on forever but I have not left your side. We can chase the dark together. If you go then so do I. There is nothing left of you I can see it in your eyes. Sing the anthem of the angels then say the last goodbye._

Clary tried to recall how long it had been since she had seen Jace. One, maybe two weeks altogether. But it seemed like it had been forever since she had seen him, touched him, talked to him… The cab stopped abruptly, and she looked up, startled. She had been wrapped up in her own little world, and had forgotten that they were in the cab. Isabelle thanked the cabbie, paid him, and got out. She looked at Clary expectantly until she finally had the nerve to get out of the cab and face what was bound to happen in just a few minutes, less than an hour, really. She shivered as she stepped into the cold night. There was a full moon out that illuminated the park eerily.

_Cold night above us. Hope fills the heart and fades away. Skin white as winter as the sky returns to grey._

As they started to walk, Clary felt awkward. She was, after all, walking with Isabelle and not talking to her at all. It made her feel impolite. Clary tried to make small talk, but, having never been good at that, it failed. Instead, she tried to ignore Isabelle and go back to thinking about Jace.

_Days go on forever but I have not left your side. We can chase the dark together. If you go then so do I. There is nothing left of you I can see it in your eyes. Sing the anthem of the angels then say the last goodbye._

They finally reached the Seelie Court after what seemed like forever. She tried not to think about what the Seelie Queen might say, as she did not want to get her hopes up just to see them get shattered into millions of tiny shards. At the front gate, Meliorn greeted them with a look of confusion on his face. I assumed Isabelle did fill him in on everything, but apparently not.

He led us into the Court. This time, the Fey did not dance, or sing, or celebrate in any way. They sat at the feasting tables looking serious, but not lively for once.

_You're dead alive. You're dead alive. You're dead alive. You're dead alive._

"Clarissa Morgenstern, Isabelle Lightwood." The Queen addressed them. "What brings you to my Court?" As usual, the Queen did not look interested nor bored, simply… dismissive. Isabelle spoke up. "We've come to see if your offer of a favor is still available." She did not sound calm or confident, but faintly nervous. A rare thing for her. The Queen sighed. "Of course, Clarissa, I knew you would come back. The shadowhunters never pass up an opportunity for something to be done. What do you want? The demons to be gone? I can't do that. Someone to die? I'm afraid I can't to that either." Clary decided to speak then. "Very generous of you, but I'm afraid none of that will do." She arched her eyebrows- as she did, the fey stiffened and looked uncomfortable in their seats. "Then what do you want?"

_There is nothing left of you I can see it in your eyes. Sing the anthem of the angels and say the last goodbye. I keep holding onto you but I can't bring you back to life. Sing the anthem of the angels and say the last goodbye._

"I've recently lost… the one I love more than anything in the world. Could you bring him back from the dead, or is that beyond your magical abilities?" I knew it was tip-toeing the line on that last part, but I could not help putting an acid- like tone to block out the pain. Isabelle turned to look at me in shock. The Queen sat up straighter, narrowing her eyes. "Yes, it is in my 'magical abilities', as you say, to bring the dead back to life." Hope filled my vision, tears welled in my eyes and threatened to spill over. "But," she continued, "He would have no soul, no personality. He could talk- and I'm assuming you are talking about Jace Lightwood- but he could not feel emotion. I will give you two days to think about what you want- Jace with strings attached, or no Jace at all. Think hard, Clarissa Morgenstern, think very hard."

**(Don't hate me!! Please!!)**


	5. Chapter 5

Broken ch 5- The end

(**Listen dudes. I am disappointed with the lack of review. But I decided that I'd better finish this before I go insane. So… I hope that you like it but… I want you to know that I started writing this thinking one thing and then I realized that I didn't want to do that at all. That I was thinking about what the readers wanted and that's why it took me so long to write. I'm good at writing depressing things for whatever reason and I'm terrible at writing happy endings. So I hope you aren't too disappointed and like it anyway. There is no song this time, sorry.)**

Isabelle and I walked away from the Seelie Court in silence. She was thinking, I was thinking. Thinking about Jace, not that I hadn't been thinking about him every second of every day since I had met him.

I wish that I had another way. It was either having Jace, but with no personality; which meant no sarcasm, no smiles, no kisses, no jokes, no… Jace, or not have him at all. To have a Jace that wasn't Jace was basically the same thing as not having him at all!  
"Clary!" Isabelle shrieked suddenly, making me jump about ten feet in the air. "What?" I said, my voice shaking, hoping she wasn't going to give me another lecture on suicide. "I have an amazing, wonderful, brilliant, beautiful-""Get on with it Isabelle." I sighed. She pouted. "Fine. But I have a really good idea. What if Magnus could bring Jace back?" I thought about it. Then the idea grew on me. What if he could?  
"Isabelle, I love you! You totally freaking rock!! Okay… okay. Now we have to- we have to go to Magnus's house or call him or something and tell him to bring Jace back." I said in a rush, stumbling over my words. I started to run in the direction from Central Park to Magnus's house. "Wait! Shouldn't we call a cab?" Isabelle shouted after me. I slowed and agreed with her. When we finally got a cab, I was bouncing up and down impatiently. As Isabelle gave the address to the cabbie, I was already going over what to say to him and how to say it._  
_The cab pulled up at Magnus's apartment after a few minutes of Isabelle staring at me whilst **(a\n- I love that word. Whilst. Haha.)** I kept bouncing up and down. I paid the cabbie this time, and got out in such a hurry that my head hit the top of the cab. Being in the hurry that I was, I didn't care, just swore and ran up to the building._  
_I rang the buzzer. "Magnus Bane, the magnificent speaking." He said in a bored voice. "Magnus, its Clary and Isabelle. Let us in!" I said, fairly nervous. "Clary?" Magnus said disbelievingly. The door opened. I ran up to find Magnus opening his door, Isabelle right behind me._  
_"Wow." Magnus said. He was dressed in his infamous purple glittery tee-shirt, black glittery pants, and his "M" belt peeking out from behind his shirt. "Clarissa, darling, you're alive. Who would've thought? Come in, come in. Hello, Isabelle." He waved his arms toward the living room.

I sighed. Magnus's apartment looked too much the same. It looked exactly like it had the last time that Clary had been there, but without Jace. And she needed Jace. Suck it up, she told herself. That is why you came here isn't it? So why don't you ask Magnus instead of wasting valuable time? "Magnus… it's been hard without Jace, to say the least." I said after a moment. "I was wondering if you somehow had the power to bring him back?" Suddenly nervous, I looked down and blushed. Magnus gasped.

"Fifty years ago I would have said yes. But the spell has been destroyed by the Clave because it was too dangerous. Unfortunately, they also destroyed my copy of it." My hopes plummeted. "Do you remember the spell?" Isabelle asked with little hope in her voice. "No, the Clave wiped all of my memory of it; it truly is a strain to remember anything about it at all. I'm sorry. But I wish that I could because, and it is a surprise to me too, I also miss Jace." This was a surprise- usually Magnus could not stand Jace.

"Oh. That- that's okay." As I said that, as if someone else was saying that, I realized that it was true. It was over. Everything was over. But strangely, everything was okay- like after everything that had happened; Clary finally realized that she already knew that it would not work out in the end. That she never could bring back Jace, and never should have tried because life took its natural course, which included death. And death was just a passage. Life was only one part of truly living. When she got done processing all of this, the world went black.

"Clary!" She heard her name being called several times, by different people. She tried to count just how many, but could not, they were just a bunch of cries. But Clary couldn't do anything. She couldn't open her eyes, or call back to whomever was trying to talk to her. She was peaceful, and did not mind the fact that she just lie there not able to find her mouth to open it, or see through her eyes because she simply could not tell if she had eyes or not.

It was frightening when she thought about it. But as Clary tried to dwell on the fact that she was peacefully paralyzed, she heard a new voice call her name. It was a voice that she knew well. _"Clary?"_ She heard. Jace. She wanted to cry. Was it truly Jace? Had he come for her?

_"Yes it's me. It's Jace. I'm here, but you need to wake up, Clary. Wake up." _She heard. I will try to find myself, for Jace, Clary thought dreamily. Maybe then everything will go back to normal.

So Clary found her legs. So she found her arms. So she found her limbs, and ears, and eyes, and toes, and her mouth. Then she opened her eyes to find nothing. Nobody at all. Just white space with silence echoing throughout the white room that stretched on and on, never seeming to end. And when she screamed, no sound came out.

**(This isn't my last chapter, by the way. I guess I'll do one more…)**__


	6. Chapter 6

Broken chapter 6- Stood Up

**(Thanks, you guys, for all the amazing reviews!!!! You rock!! Now I shall reward you… haha. Sorry my mom doesn't have a computer- I switch houses every other weekend like every other victim of parent divorce haha- but she's getting one soon so be patient please. Anyway I'm surprised that this has gone so far. Wow. I'm not sure if this song really goes with this chapter but I like it anyway so hope you do too. Enjoy!!)**

_We are not frightened anymore. We stood up. Yeah, we stood up. And there are two of us, there will be many more. They'll show up, they'll show up, they'll show up._

Clary looked around the room the last of a thousand times. She didn't know how long she had been in there- seconds, minutes, hours, years? It was exasperating just sitting here as she had for as long as she had been here, because she had not been able to do anything. She tried to get out of the white room, but there was nothing. After running and running and shouting for somebody to hear or see her Clary passed out. When she woke up she was still in the room of emptiness.

_Blame a change of mind. A seismic shift in times. They told us not to fight. But we'll fight until we die._

Her cell phone didn't work. No signal, no nothing. She didn't know where she was. Nobody was there. She was hungry. And Jace still wasn't with her. Clary felt like dying. But she had to keep awake for any sign of something to come and help her.

'_Cause we are not frightened anymore. We stood up. Yeah we stood up. And there are two of us there will be many more. They'll show up, they'll show up, yeah they'll show up._

Clary thought of home, the Institute, longingly. She remembered the Persian carpets that Mayrise was so obsessed with, the library filled with books that she had never read but had wanted to, the halls full of rooms that weren't in use, and the greenhouse where Jace had first kissed her. Suddenly, the white room began to change. It took on another wall color, another carpet, different rooms.

_And so they sunk every ship we sailed. But we stood up, yeah we stood up. And they fought hard but still their fighting failed. They're all shook up; they're all shook up, all shook up._

When the white room was done taking its shape, Clary realized with shock that it was the Institute. That the white room now held all of the secrets and memories and longing of the Institute's infirmary. There was the carpet with the angel breaking out of Lake Lynn, the beds lined up in a row, the IVs in the corner. She was home.

_Steel and concrete break. Beneath the steady waves. Of fearless hope and grace. In kindness there is strength. _

The door opened- another shock. Clary had thought that everyone was gone, that she was still in the white room, and still without Jace. But the biggest, most breathtaking shock of all was that Jace was standing in the doorway. He was there. Unless, of course, she was simply dreaming. Or worse, dead. Clary couldn't be dead, what would Luke think? And Isabelle and Simon and Alec and Jocelyn…

'_Cause we are not frightened anymore. We stood up, we stood up. There are two of us there will be many more. They'll show up, they'll show up, yeah they'll show up._

I looked up, startled, to hear my name called. Jace was standing next to my bed, I hadn't noticed that he walked from the doorway to me while I was mulling over the possibility that I was dead. "Jace?" My voice cracked. "Am I dead?" He chuckled, but it was a nervous sound. I looked at him closer. He had bags under his eyes, and his face looked so sullen and dead that it was easy to still think that he was indeed dead and I was just dreaming.

_We are not, we are not, we are not, we are not, we are not. We are not, we are not frightened anymore. We are not frightened anymore._

"No, you are not dead. But I thought you were. What happened?" He asked as if to himself. He answered his question. "I don't know. We were at the celebration, and you fainted all of the sudden- I thought that it was because of my dashing good looks and charm. But you didn't wake after a while. It was as if you were in a trance. Even Magnus could not get you to wake." He paused to catch his breath, as if he had run a marathon, and then continued. "I didn't know what to think. Alec and Isabelle helped me run you here, and here I've been for the past week. Well, I had to go to the bathroom, but other than that…" He trailed off as I absorbed all of this. It had been- what? A trance, like Jace had said? Or simply being unconscious? But as I shook my head to clear it, I realized that none of it mattered. Nothing, just as long as I had Jace. And that might've been what all of this was about.

**(Yay!! I finished the whole thing. Yeah, the whole thing, because I'm done. Now Clary can stop keeping me up all night. Haha. Now I'm gonna cry… or I can just start a new story… I think the latter will do. Haha. Hope you enjoyed!!! Peas and carrots review! Hugs and Jace)**


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